That Which Survives

What does one have when everything is impermanent?
What does one know when everything is wrong?
What does one see when everything is blurred?
What does one hear when everything is silenced?

What are we really?
Are we just a self centered set of self justifying rules
designed to protect us from whatever it is we think we really are?

Why must anyone be like me?
Even those who stand out the most do so in the light of adoration.
Even those who claim uniquness do so in front of millions.
Why is it they strive so hard to show us how different they are?
If no one needs to be like me, then no one needs to know they aren’t.
If I am unique, your approval of that is not important.

What is this faith we seek?
Even those who enter churches do so to find what they have not
while those who do not enter seek to proclaim what they do not need.
Even those who proclaim the greatest faith in a god do so in fear of yours
while those who proclaim nothing do so in fear of god.
If one is truly in faith there is no fear of another faith.
When one is truly full, there is no fear of another’s meal.

Why must we want for one another? (non romantic)
They who desire another to be as they wish, are they not enough themselves?
They who want the love of another, do they not have enough love themselves?
Why do we wish to know the love of those who do not wish to give it
while we desire not the love of those who do?

What is love anyway?
Even those who stalk another with unwanted advances believe they love us.
Even those who desire us believe it is love just because of their want.
Even those who suffer that delusion believes we do also want them.
And who said it is only love if I give you what you have determined I should?
If I must be as another wishes for them to feel loved, then it is not my love they seek
it is their own.

They who love me will seek to love my life as i see fit to live it.
This we give to pets, yet people we oppress to obey our vision of love!

Even he who claims to know love does so to share HIS vision of it!
How can that be your love?

I know of no other who has walked all the steps of my life
as I have never walked the steps of another
yet STILL do I believe in my opinions of you. HA!!!!

And how truly can I hold fast to my beliefs?
Are they not one perspective among BILLIONS?
Are they not limited to shortened years?
Are they not proven wrong daily? Only to have that proof wronged?
Are they not tested continually?

What of my experiences?
They are not with me… they are the past.
What of my hopes?
They are not with me… they are the future.
What of now?

In now is only my love for another.
Be a brother or sister, they are not here to know this love.
Be a father or mother, they are not here to know this love.
Be a son or daughter, they sleep knowing nothing of my love.
Be my wife, she too sleeps unaware of such passions I have for her,
until she rises to see them in my eye.

What do we have if we cannot give it?
What do we know if we cannot share it?
What do we see if we cannot envision it?
What do we hear if we cannot understand it?

I am deep in my love for another
and I am unafraid of who I really am
because I love loving her
and I love her no matter who she is
as I love myself no matter who anyone thinks I am.

And I am deep in this love
just because it is mine
to behold for her.

I have never needed anyone or anything or any thought or any ideal or any image or any want
to love her.

It is only that love in me
That is perminant
That has never been wrong
That has never been blurred
That has never been silenced in my heart.

All souls grow old
All eyes grow dim
All purpose grows to other concerns.
All hearts for us can wane into the oblivion of the human epidemic.

What does not wane or falter or drift or wash away or forget or turn off,
Is the Love God put in our hearts for any another
who had shared their true love also with us.

It never dies,
Even in the realm of hell it thrives,
Even in the gates of Heaven it is as a Phoenix
Born over and over.
With every touch, every whimper
and every breath, it is.

This is the beauty of the heart, the heavy balance
And that which survives.

Ryan o0o