Before when all I touched was gold
and many came to visit
and the earth I travelled at will

I rose inside myself

Before when I prayed to be humble
and begged to not be spoiled
and still profited always in everything I did

I rose inside myself

Before when I stood upon stages
and walked with the wealthy
and motivated the seekers

I rose inside myself

Every step was a gain
Every word was a law
Every move was followed by followers

and I rose inside myself

Before the fall I saw it all
and knew it was coming with vengeance
Before the fall I felt it all
and knew it was burning my soul

This world is full
of beautiful crafters and writers and thought-smiths and philosophers
and Poets and dreamers and doers and givers.
They find no self praise in their hearts.
They find no self need in their hearts.
They find no self seeking in their hearts.

In my heart was found such things
and long ago I fell
down to the dirt, into the abyss, stripped of all
like sand between my fingers

Until no stone was left to stand upon another
of my former life.

In my heart was Pride
and Prejudice
and Judgement
and self-rightiousness

Even now I can feel the place it seeks to grow

and for every year of my prosperity in ALL things
so too have there been ever year of my loss in all things
Save One gift of marriage to keep a light alive in me.

And the more i read and learn and discover
the more in awe I am at the wisdom of others
the grace of others
the humility of others
and the true purpose of others in their craft.

My Wife is among them… genuine words, respectful craft, humble experience and motivated by love.
Indeed she is the greatest gift of my life.

But a fellow like me is deep in the mud
before i know it’s depth
and high in the clouds
before I know it’s limit
and mighty to myself
before I fall
of mighty Pride.

I miss my hopeful speech
and my constant smile
and my soft heart
and my open doors
and my gentle arms
and my fearless heart
and my powerful resources
and my influential friends
and my gladness in everything
and my non-existant fear
from before my fall

And though these blessings are truly a wonderful grace
they are
to one of Pride
a potential doorway to hell.

This time if there be anything to lift me up
it will not be me
nor will it ever be spoken of me
but of they who did Lift
and offer
and give

Because the works of my hands are dust
and the words of my mouth disperse in the wind
and the strength in my arms does fail
and the will of my heart does commit harm
and the flesh of my body grows old
and the Prowess of my Enemy does howl
since the beginning of man.

This time may I be filled
with your hopeful speech
and your constant smile
and your soft heart
and your open doors
and your gentle arms
and your fearless heart
and your powerful resources
and your influential friends
and your gladness in everything
and your non-existant fear

And may the beautiful grace of love
known throughout the universe as Eternal Life
Continue to bless the Humble souls of our History.

Ryan o0o

 

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Ryan Ranney – Ranney Studios
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